Yes, they really are little dictators. Dictators of what I want to eat, dictators of my mood after I realize nothing tastes quite like it should...my tastebuds are still non-existent. They have a very metallic taste and everything I eat or drink tastes, well, dull and flat. I turned down a bowl of ice cream yesterday at our last mass faculty meeting, figuring what was the point to consuming calories if I couldn't actually enjoy them? Maybe this will be a side benefit to the RAI and Hypo Hell. Food is so unappetizing that eating seems pointless, so I won't gain weight? Forget about going out to a restaurant! That sensory pleasure is gone, and it had better be temporary. If nothing else, I really like to enjoy food and play with recipes. Last night I made rice and beans with chicken and chorizo, and I could barely taste the chorizo. Chorizo is one of my ways to get a Spain fix. Didn't work so much last night. I loaded the pan up with cumin and adobo seasoning and garlic--I should make my sister taste it to see how bad it really is! Also, my tongue feels like it's burnt, like I ate too many hot pieces of really cheesy pizza. Not sure which sensation is worse. My mouth feels a little dryer than usual too, but the water tastes like a piece of aluminum. Or at least how I think a piece of aluminum would taste if I had to drink it. Eww.
I don't see "aluminum foil" on there anywhere....
My eyes are dryer than normal--not a good combination with contact lenses. They feel as if I had fallen asleep for a few hours and left them in. And really weird--the inside of my nose actually hurts. TMI, I know, but it does! It hurts on the inside if I touch it on the outside. Picture that one if you will! If you live in New England, there's a point in the winter where the air is so dry sometimes from low humidity and high indoor heat that it can feel like everything is dried out. That's how my nose feels, but more intense and slightly painful.
I'm picturing everything above my neck just fried from the RAI. I'm waiting for my salivary glands to block themselves up, but that could take a few more months. Some people report having issues 7-8 months AFTER the RAI--comes on with no warning. Now I'm panicking, worrying that I didn't do everything "right" after the RAI. What if that's the case and I could have prevented some of this? What if it's impossible to prevent it all, and this is just how it has to be? How many brain cells have been fried?
We're off to PA this weekend for my brother-in-law's 50th birthday. I would really like to be able to taste some cake!
I think this rant is coming from my morning. I woke up late. Mookie wanted more attention than I could give him. I left my lunch bag in school yesterday, so I had to improvise. The Dunkin' Donuts parking lot was packed and I had to wait for a parking space. Despite my non-existent taste buds, I got a glazed crueller because they looked really good, and it was--really gooey, still warm, tasted like aluminum foil. I really should have skipped it, but since the day was already off to a shaky start, I figured I had nothing else to lose. I forgot to put my coffee cup in the cupholder, and it tipped over as I went around a corner, spilling on the shoulder strap of my school bag and the floor of the car. Most of metro Boston must have slept in due to the Celtics late finish last night (first 5 minutes of the game were fantastic), so there seemed to be a ton of traffic. I got to school with 3 minutes to get to the main office to sign in and was almost late. I am wearing a white sweater, so I couldn't use the shoulder strap on my bag with the coffee on it, and the bag is really heavy. When we're late, we have to sign a different colored sheet of paper on the secretary's desk that seems to scream at you "YOU ARE LATE"--makes you feel like a kid again. My homeroom is checked out even though finals start next week. My first period class was the "Mute Group"--ever try to have a class discussion with a group of passive mutes who refuse to engage in anything??? Nothing, and I mean nothing, interests/impresses/excites them--I showed a movie to all 4 sections of my Spanish 4 classes where a main character is tragically killed, and three of the sections were sobbing by the end. I had to keep the lights off and hand out kleenex. The Mute Group? No response. No reaction. Other classes respond to my goofy jokes, will ask questions and will talk about stuff. I hate starting my day off with the Mute Group. I don't understand how they can be so passive.
Mute swans, I love. Mute teenagers, not so much. I swear I could dance across the front of the room naked wearing a sombrero and playing flaming maracas, and the Mute Group wouldn't bat an eyelash. And I can assure you, it would not be a pretty scene!
Olé to you too.
Sigh. At least I'm not as puffy as I was a couple of weeks ago.
I think I hear a buzzer going off somewhere--order up!!
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