Saturday, September 3, 2016

That was the fastest answer ever!

Right after I hit "publish" on the previous post, I decided to check my email and saw the ominous "You a message with new test results" or something like that in my inbox.  It was about 3 hours after I finished my ultrasound, and that has never happened that quickly before.  I figured it might be a good sign if they could interpret everything that fast, so I clicked.

The funky lymph node is still there but is slightly smaller.  Dr. N's message was "stable, good", and that was all.
This is what I guess my funky lymph node would look like, only larger.  Looks like a happy little guy....


So I guess I sit and wait until next year.  It's too small to biopsy, meaning they can't do anything about it anyway.  If it is cancerous, at least it's not growing.

Next steps are bloodwork and a check up with Dr. N at the end of this month.
Breathing slightly anxious sigh of relief for now.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Wishing and hoping, again.

Hola! Quick check in at the end of August...

Had an ultrasound done today to follow up from last year's ultrasound and suspicious lymph node.  It wasn't too bad, but the technician did spend a lot of time looking at the right side.  Hopefully I'll get the results within a couple of days, get a clean bill of health and won't have to worry about thyca until the next blood test.

I was supposed to get the blood work done in May but didn't--May was completely insane at school and I just didn't do it, probably because I was busy eating things like Pop Tarts and other stuff that wasn't, um, good for me.  I managed to clean up my act over the summer and made it a point to exercise almost every day.  Every day.  Either I walked or did my Wii workouts for at least 30 minutes, usually for 45. I had fun with the marching parade thingie and managed to complete it without falling off the Wii board.  However, per usual, one day I suddenly got a horrible pain in my heel and bottom of my foot, so I've been resting/icing it for the last week.  Plantar fasciitis anyone?  Figures.

Now the waiting begins....

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Look what I just found, minutes after posting my anxiety-ridden post!

Whole-body images and images of the thyroid bed and neck demonstrate
normal distribution of radiotracer within the salivary glands,
stomach, bowel and urinary bladder.  No persistent activity is seen
within the neck or elsewhere to suggest metastatic disease.
1. No evident recurrent or metastatic thyroid cancer

I decided to check the online portal, and there was the report!  I never even got a notice that it was there as of tonight.  
Guess she didn't need to call me. What a relief.  So hard to not go to that dark scary place with this stupid cancer stuff, especially with the high recurrence rate of thyca.  I really was scared about this, and Dr. N wasn't overly reassuring after reading the ultrasound report, so why not prepare for the worst?  Hell, I'm Irish, that's what we do.  

Big sigh of relief.  Now, once I stop feeling so awfully hypo, I can get my life back on track and plan for the spring.  Mr. W is talking about travel ideas, which is always a good thing.  

I think I'll sleep well tonight.  :) 

No news is just no news.

The suspense is damn near killing me.
I had my whole body scan on Wednesday, and still have no results as of midnight going into Sunday.
The guy who did the scan said Dr. N would have the reading that night.
Definitely sums up this week.... 

I had the thyrogen shots on Monday and Tuesday, and made it until about lunch time on Tuesday before I started to feel really hypo--I hate that feeling.  Suddenly exhausted, confused like I can't process info, achey all over, and really hot.  And nauseous.  I skipped lunch, and got stuck in a meeting about teacher evals that for the life of me I could not focus on much.  It was awful--I almost got up and left.  Wednesday was a trip to the hospital by 9 to take my four slightly radioactive pills, and then back home until the scan at 2.

When I walked in to nuclear medicine, my sister and her boyfriend were sitting there waiting for me--that was a nice surprise!  Had no idea she would be there, and it was nice to have some more support even though I saw her for about three minutes.

The scan itself was uneventful, except that I fell asleep in the last couple of minutes, and almost smacked my face against the machine that was about two inches from my face when I bolted awake at the noise.  Freakier than that was that my mom and her best friend Helen were in a dream right before I woke up--they were sipping screwdrivers on one of their Wednesday nights out and laughing.  I  hope that is what they are actually doing together in the next life!

And now, I'm waiting.  I took Thursday off because I felt so awful and exhausted.  Friday was ok, but I had to go for bloodwork after school to check the TSH level.  I stopped in at Dr. N's office to pick up the orders, and the assistant who gave me the shot said my scan was "under review" in the computer, meaning Dr. N hadn't done anything with it.   Today I have a constant headache, am achey all over and spent most of the day trying to fall asleep with little success.  I've watched three episodes of "Isabel" so far today.  Two yesterday.  Part of it is to stay up in case Dr.  N calls--she's been known to call at 10pm.   I just want an answer so I can plan a little--I feel like my life is on hold waiting to see what the scan shows--surgery and RAI, or put the fear in a box for another 6 months and have it scanned again then?  Either way, it sucks.  This could very well stretch into next week with Thanksgiving coming up.
Might as well go to bed and stare at the ceiling for a bit.  Sleeping won't matter--even if I put in 10 hours right now, I'l wake up exhausted.

I am so not in a good mood today.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

WBS for "tumor localization". Whaaaaat?

Still here....
Plan is moving into "something actually going to happen" phase--WBS is scheduled for this Wednesday, thyrogen shots on Monday and Tuesday.

The paperwork arrived yesterday from the hospital, and for "exam" it says "tumor localization".  Hmm.  That definitely doesn't imply that we aren't certain a tumor exists, but rather the little bastard is there and we have to find out exactly where.  That kind of gave me chills up my spine, because that phrase sounds pretty definite and no question about if there is cancer.  Makes it sound like it's there.  So much for the doctor telling me that it could just be a funky lymph  node.  Am I overreacting?

I think all of this just makes me tired.  As in I just flopped on the couch yesterday and slept away most of the afternoon.

It didn't help that Friday at work sucked.  Turns out the day before, one of my teachers was absent.  She told me on Tuesday that she'd be out, and we had Wednesday off.  She is supposed to call in sick to the sick line so that there would be a sub for all of her classes.  She didn't call in and forgot.  So her classes went uncovered all day, and I completely forgot that she told me she would be out.   To make it worse, my office is across the hall from her room, and I didn't even realize she wasn't there.  Between thyroid meds and apparently being a little stressed out about the cancer being back, I totally blanked.  Let's just say my boss wasn't very happy with me.

So, for today I might just flop on the couch again.  And binge-watch my latest obsession, "Isabel" from Spain's RTVE.  It's so good.  I'm into the second season right now and loving the fact that I can follow the  rapid fire Spanish pretty well.  I think I'm getting most of it!  This picture is from Season 1.

I'll be back once I find out where the tumor is, and what the next phase of the plan is.  Ought to be an interesting week if I can get through it.

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Cancer song for round 2: Vivir mi vida

Oh I thought of a good song for this round!!

"Get on your boots" was perfect for Round 1.  Round 2 is a little different--I know what to expect.

It's one of my favorites and always puts me in a good mood.  And the lyrics are very upbeat.  Translation below.  Salsa always makes me feel better, and I have always liked Marc Anthony's voice.

"Vivir mi vida" by Marc Anthony 

'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna dance
[I'm gonna] live my life, la, la, la, la
I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna enjoy
live my life, la, la, la, la
Sometimes rain comes
to clean wounds
Sometimes just a drop
can overcome the drought
And why cry, for what?
If it hurts bad, forget it
And why suffer, for what?
If life is like this, you must live it
I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna dance
live my life, la, la, la, la
I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna enjoy
live my life, la, la, la, la
I'm gonna live in the moment
to understand the fate
I'm gonna listen in silence
to find the way
And why cry, for what?
If it hurts bad, forget it
And why suffer, for what?
If it hurts bad, forget it
I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna dance
live my life, la, la, la, la
I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna enjoy
live my life, la, la, la, la
My people!
I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna dance
Why mourn? Why suffer?
Start dreaming, laughing
I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna dance
Feel and dance and enjoy,
you only live once
I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna dance
Live, always keep moving forward
Don't look back
My people, you only live once
I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna dance
live my life, la, la, la, la
I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna enjoy
live my life, la, la, la, la

Settling in again....

Hola again.
Settling in to my new reality over the past couple of weeks.
I had a hard time with the news on Columbus Day, but felt so much better after talking with Dr. N and getting a plan in place.  Why is it that just the plan made me able to return to normal functioning?

In fact I have been able to completely "forget" at times that the cancer is probably in there somewhere, lurking in my lymph nodes.  Then there are times that it comes flooding over me, the anticipation of what's ahead.  But for now, I'm keeping in a different compartment in my head.  

And enjoying things like Pop Tarts and Halloween candy, even though sugar feeds tumors.  I have also had tons and tons of vegetables--so many salads that I know I will come back in another life as a rabbit.  A very hungry rabbit.

So, in a holding pattern for now.  Dr. N wanted to have me take my levoxyl in the am and cytomel in the pm, figuring I'd get an energy boost that would encourage me to do things like exercise-all it did was screw up my memory and general ability to function like a competent adult for a couple of weeks, probably because I usually forgot the pm dose of cytomel.  I went back to taking both in the morning, and am starting to feel slightly normal again.  

I'll come back once the plan starts to work itself out, probably in a couple of weeks.