Christmas 2012

Not sure where to even start trying to explain this Christmas....

Clancy, summer 2012 

Sis came down from the North, and our plans were to have Christmas dinner with Mr. Wonderful's mom, sis and aunt.  Sis brought Clancy home with her--Clancy is her 17 year old cat.  Clancy was my mother's cat.  Clancy was diagnosed in 2009 with signs of kidney failure, but because of a great vet and my sister's close care of him, he was doing fine.  She would feed him chicken broth and cook entire chickens for him while the vet monitored him closely and managed his kidneys with various combinations of meds and vitamins.
Clancy looked pretty scraggly and boney as time went on, but he still ate, played, stole any and all food he could fine, traumatized my two cats with just a look and hiss, and best of all snuggled constantly with Sis.
His howling on Christmas morning woke me up from a dead sleep, and it was clear that he was in trouble.  He wasn't able to use the litter box or curl himself up, and he looked so miserable.  It changed so quickly!
It was pretty clear that it Clancy wasn't going to rebound from this--we've seen it before with other cats.  We bundled him up and took him to the vet where I had taken McGinty a couple of years ago and had him put to sleep.  It was so sad, and he managed to put up a little bit of a fight at the end.  Part of what made it so sad is that Clancy was the last link to both of my parents. And as a lone cat living with Sis, his real personality came out.  Apparently he never should have been put in a house with another cat--he only started to become himself after Darby was put to sleep. Clancy, who usually hissed and snarled at everything and everybody (except for my mom), became the biggest love muffin and snuggler extraordinaire with Sis.  He would curl up on her and let her kiss his whiskers and play with his tail....amazing to watch considering how mean he had been in the past.   He really was a unique cat.

Needless to say, the rest of Christmas wasn't exactly enjoyable.  We were back home by 9am, minus Clancy, and I still had to get dinner ready for 6.  I was pretty grumpy since this damn cat dredged up all kinds of negative emotions about so many things that I've managed to keep semi-stuffed for the past 7 years--loss of my parents, the infertility battle and inability to have kids, Sis' inability to have kids, the ongoing post-cancer battle to feel normal....Sigh.  And now the cat has to be put down on Christmas morning??  He always was a diva.... 

The rest of day was fine and dinner turned out pretty well.  I got some nice gifts from everyone.  This was probably the most interesting one from Sis-in-Law: 

The Zinger Head Massager! 

It looks like a torture instrument, but oh my it feels soooooo good.  Kind of like when you're at the hairdresser's getting your head washed and massaged.  I don't know where she found it, but it's amazing.  

Now I'm just vegetating my way through break--it's 12:19pm and I'm still in my pjs.  Same as yesterday.  

Sis gave me a great book that I finished last night--The Famine Plot  by Tim Pat Coogan.  Wow.  

Coogan examines England's role in the Famine and makes a case for genocide according to the UN definition and by looking at documents that would support the idea that England knew exactly what was happening as she stopped relief efforts and said Providence was punishing the feckless Irish with the blight.  He highlights the role and influence of Charles Trevelyan, Prime Ministers Peel and  Russell, a few key lords and landlords and the role of the Quakers.  The descriptions of the Irish are horrendous, and made me want to cry as he described West Cork and the West in general.  Guess where my ancestors are from?  The Famine continues to fascinate me, since I wouldn't be on this side of the Atlantic if it hadn't happened.  

And now to plot the rest of my week....dinner tonight with a friend, Christmas party tomorrow night, snow, brunch on Sunday for Mr. W's office crew, and then?  I'm getting caught up on hours of sleep since I haven't gotten my ass out of bed before 9am.  Ahhhhhhhh.  

Mercedes Sosa - Gracias A La Vida

¡Feliz Día de Gracias!

Wait--this was supposed to go on my blog for my AP Spanish classes!  Oops!  I decided to use this song sung by Mercedes Sosa from Argentina, based on the poem of the same name written by the Chilean poet Violeta Parra.  Good fit for Thanksgiving time....Might as well post the lyrics below so you can understand!
I'll have to give some thought about what I'm grateful for this year...there's lots, I just have to sort it out.

source: http://lyricstranslate.com Gracias a la vida Thanks to life, which has given me so much. It gave me two stars, which when I open them, Perfectly distinguish black from white And in the tall sky its starry backdrop, And within the multitudes the one that I love. Thanks to life, which has given me so much. It gave me hearing that, in all of its reach Records night and day crickets and canaries, Hammers and turbines, bricks and storms, And the tender voice of my beloved. Thanks to life, which has given me so much. It gave me sound and the alphabet. With them the words I think and declare: “Mother,” “Friend,” “Brother” and light shining down on The road of the soul of the one I'm loving. Thanks to life, which has given me so much. It gave me the steps of my tired feet. With them I have traversed cities and puddles Valleys and deserts, mountains and plains. And your house, your street and your garden. Thanks to life, which has given me so much. It gave me this heart that shakes its frame, When I see the fruit of the human brain, When I see good so far from evil, When I look into the depth of your light eyes… Thanks to life, which has given me so much. It gave me laughter and it gave me tears. With them I distinguish happiness from pain The two elements that make up my song, And your song, as well, which is the same song. And everyone’s song, which is my very song.

Yawn.

Back again....I've been looking at my last post thinking that I really should blog something and just haven't made the time.

Is that a good thing?  That I'm not obsessing about thyca as much?  Notice I said "as much".  It's still lurking back there in the recesses of my mind.  To be honest, I haven't felt that great since I had the whole body scan in October--back to feeling really tired again, and sometimes so tired that it hurts.  I don't know if that's fallout from October, or if it's the change of seasons, or a combo of both.  I don't care how small the tracer dose of RAI is, it has to do something to your body.  I just feel like I'm having a lot more trouble getting going in the morning--during the summer and early fall I could wake up and actually feel rested and awake.  Now, not so much.  I don't go back to see Dr. N until February, and I don't think this warrants a phone call for blood work, so I'll give it some more time.  I do sleep through the night, but I feel like my brain is constantly running.  And I need two tanks of coffee to get thru the day--one in the morning and one when I hit the 2:30pm wall.  Which keeps me up later.  Such a vicious circle.

I'm still obsessing about gluten.  Just when I start to wonder if it is really something that exists only in my head, I do this--I ate something today that has set an unfortunate chain of events into motion and my digestive system is in revolt.  On a happy note, Trader Joe's has gluten free turkey gravy, so we're set for Thanksgiving!  Now we just have to figure out the stuffing question--do we make two batches or not?  Have to think about that.  Sis found some gluten free pie crust mixes--I hope they taste ok.  My big disappointment with some gluten free products is that they are waaaaay too sweet.  I have a massive set of sweet teeth in my head, so for me to say that something is too sweet is really bad. And they tend to be high in fat.  I have a few favs, but I'm back to not working out again due to time spent in school.  Have to get that back in my schedule.

School is absolutely insane this year because someone who has probably forgotten what it is like to be in the classroom decided that the teachers had to learn two new systems this year:  an online student info system for attendance and grades, and the state's completely revamped teacher eval system.  Somewhere in there teachers are supposed to actually plan stuff for the classes they teach, right?  We are not happy campers.  It's ridiculous.  They could have rolled it out more gradually, but no.....let's just say morale is not overwhelmingly positive.  What has been positive this year are my two AP groups.  So far, awesome.  One group is quieter than the other and much more resistant to talking, but both groups have really strong foundations.  Do you have any idea how happy I am to see them actually using the subjunctive in October?  And using it correctly?  So cool.  And such a geeky language teacher thing to say, but hey, that makes my world go 'round.  It's the small things.....

Whole Body Scan: Negative!

Woo hoooooooooooooo! 

I finally got the call yesterday to tell me that my whole body scan done last Wednesday came back completely NEGATIVE.

Negative.  Never has that word sounded so great!  It used to torture me when I was struggling with the concept of negative numbers in the 8th grade, but yesterday it was pure music to my ears.

Breathe huge, massive sigh of relief here.

So that means that I am completely undetectable.  As in no evidence of cancer.  Anywhere.  Anywhere in my body.  For once, my body has agreed to play nice and not torture me.

I have been pretty tired from the whole ordeal, more than I probably realized.  I was just sleepy the whole weekend.  I'm starting to feel a little bit closer to normal today, but I think it took a lot out of me. I didn't really have any side effects from the Thyrogen other than being tired, and the nurse that did the shots was excellent--barely felt them!

This is kind of huge, because it's been two and half years since the TT and blast of RAI--all I've been using to check things since then is blood work.  Luckily it's consistently come back undetectable, but you never know what could be lurking, especially since the original cancer had metastasized to my lymph nodes--I had visions of a rogue node full of thyca that was hiding in there.....the WBS just confirms that there is nothing there that they can see, and I'm fine with that.

Today is a good day.  A very good day.

Thanks St. Peregrine once again....

Does this scanner make me look fat?

Long time no post, but the start of the new school year can do that to you!  Just like July flew by, so did September, and now I find myself in October.  Sigh.

I've looked at my page here a few times but haven't made time to write lately.  Seems like my thyca issues have been overtaken by trying to avoid gluten.  I guess it's a good thing that thyca has faded from the very front screens in my brain--my scar is not very noticeable, my TSH has been happily in the hyper zone to keep me suppressed, so as a result I actually feel pretty good most of the time.  Ok, a little tired because every so often I have a few nights where I just can't sleep for more than a couple of hours, but it's nice to not feel like I'm dragging my puffy ass all over the place just to get through the day.  And people keep telling me that I "look good"--I'll just take it and run with it.

However, thyca jumped right back to the front today--I got the call that I've been scheduled for my thyrogen scan next week.  As in thyrogen shot on Monday, shot #2 on Tuesday, whole body scan with my radioactive tracer on Wednesday.  It's about 2 and half years from the first RAI treatment, so Dr. N figured I could be checked now and, assuming that the thyca is undetectable, I'll be checked again at the 5 year mark. If I'm clear at that point, then she'll go to just blood work to monitor my undetectable-ness.

I thought I'd have to wait until November, but the whole process moved much faster than I thought.  That gives me about a week to work on keeping fear and anxiety at bay.  I'm  holding on to what Dr. N said--I was undetectable immediately after the thyroidectomy, so between the surgery and the RAI, she felt that they probably did a good job getting rid of most of the thyroid tissue.  If there's no thyroid tissue, the cancer has nowhere to reappear, especially since she's kept me well suppressed since the TT, and I haven't had to struggle to stay stable.

I'm hopeful and will be really shocked if things are suddenly detectable.  I often think about my dad who had cancer of the nasopharynx when he was 30, and how he spent the rest of his life dealing with these cancer checkups.  Difference is that I don't have kids to worry about, and I'm a little older.  One thing I always remember is how normal my parents made everything seem, and they must have been petrified with every doctor's appointment.  After watching how they dealt with everything life threw at them and how they kept going, I took note and will be in good shape no matter what the results are.  And I'm taking the day off when I go for the scan.....

More later about the latest edition of school....

Dog days of summer...

I've calmed down quite a bit since my panic about all the denseness in my life!  Whew.  That really was scary to me, even though on an intellectual level I was pretty sure it was cysts.  Emotionally, it was another story.

So fast forward to this week and I'm hanging out with Sis up north, listening to crickets at the moment.  Last night a barred owl let out a blood-curdling screech that made me jump off the couch.  This morning, my neighbors began tearing up their asphalt driveway and excavating for ledge.  At 7am.  Not very neighborly now, right?  I marched my half-awake self over to their driveway (they did wake us up after all, just like they did last summer...), growled good morning and told them it was too early.  The sad thing is they worked until 5 pm, and I know it will start up tomorrow at....7am.  The neighbor said, "I'm sorry.", and I wanted to yell back at her, "No you aren't!", just like I do with the kids at school.  As if saying "I'm sorry" exonerates you from any responsibility.

A tangent.   I am down to single digit numbers of weeks until I return to school, so I'm a little annoyed when heavy machinery wakes me up at the time I'm usually already in the car and en route to school. Just sayin'.

Sis goes back next Wednesday.  Better her than me.

Not much else going on.  I do have my prescription for Pravastatin to take to help lower the CRP thingy, but I haven't started it yet.  I'm a little leery--side effects include memory loss (oh hell no) and muscle pain.  Sigh.  I did find a couple more articles supporting its use for CRP, and Dr. N seems to think that since I've done everything else I can to lower it but nothing has made it budge, time for some pharmaceutical help.  I suppose that if I don't want to have a cardiac event later, I should take it.  Try it?

Density

Oh July was so good right up until the end, and then Reality slammed me on August 1st.  Or 2nd.  I've lost track of which day.

I had a bone density scan and a mammogram on the 31st, great way to end July.

Dr. N called me on the first and left a message, saying that my bone density was normal (Yay for all that milk drinking I've done all my life) and my mammogram was normal (strange I thought that she'd have the results back so fast, but whatever--I'll take normal.)  My other bloodwork was fine--cholesterol came down, triglycerides came down (thank you Wii!), but the damn cardio reactive protein is still way too elevated, so she really wants me to go on a statin to see if it helps.  Grr. So overall, I was ok with those results.  And still undetectable.

However, Dr. N called me the next morning to tell me that she had in fact read the wrong mammogram results, and that mine were "abnormal", so I would need to be done again, this time with mammography and an ultrasound.  Apparently there was a spot that was denser than the rest, and it was hard to tell what was going on.  Thus began 5 long, agonizing days of waiting until my appointment this morning.  Dr. N told me that about half her patients get callbacks, and percentage-wise the chances of having breast cancer were....I stopped her and reminded her of how she gave me the same speech about thyca.  She got a good laugh out of that one.  But can you get cancer twice in the space of two years?

I haven't felt this anxious since the thyca diagnosis.  I hadn't found any lumps or bumps, but there was a spot that felt "cysty" to me and actually caused some pain.  I've always had issues with painful cysts that come and go with my cycles, and I didn't really think anything of this.  Intellectually I could tell myself that, but emotionally my mind went to the Dark Place of Bad News.  Plus I'm still not sure about the role of menopause and estrogen on my cyst cycle, so how could I even be sure of what I was feeling?  Too many what ifs circulating in my brain. 

I am overjoyed to report that there is in fact a cluster of cysts, and nothing more serious to worry about.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. 

The mammographer was great, and it turns out is a thcya survivor of 13 years!  We swapped stories and for some strange reason talking about thyca calmed me down as she poked, squashed and rearranged for the best images.  It was, um, painful to say the least, but that just made me more convinced that it was a cyst in there, lurking in the denseness.  Our stories were eerily similar, but she hadn't tried to go gluten free yet.  Said she was thinking about it. 

After the pics, I had to have an ultrasound.  The tech was reassuring and done in minutes, but then called me back in to say that the doctor wanted to redo the ultrasound himself.  Oh shit.  The guy was overly cheerful and I really wanted to smack him, but I held back.  Plus I was completely exposed and it would have been an awkward situation sine I really needed him to figure out what was going on in there. After what seemed an enternity of scanning and more gel, he said, "I'm looking at a bunch of cysts, and I don't see anything to be worried about in here."  Can you say huge sigh of relief?  Once he was done and told me to come back in a year, I burst into tears.  Real tears with real crying--I think I scared the poor technician to death!   What a relief.  Amazing how emotional you can get with this stuff. 

Mr. Wonderful came with me and was looking pretty anxious when I was called in, and he looked even more worried when I came out with a smile on my face.  We promptly went out for breakfast to celebrate (too early for wine, but I will have some later!).  How this man puts up with my health stuff I'll never know--it's so hard to tell him every time something new comes up, to see the worry on his face as I can tell he's trying to keep me calm. I do get some pretty good hugs and cuddles though.... :)  In sickness and in health, right? 

I hate the way I let this stuff put my life on hold for a few days--I seem to plow ahead, aiming to get to the next date before I can figure new stuff out.  I knew this was on the 7th, so it's almost as if I have to get past the event on that date before I can plan beyond it, if that makes any sense.  I didn't exactly curl up in a ball for the 5 days, but it was always lurking in the back of my mind. 

So.  I have a green light to enjoy the rest of the summer, which I plan to do.  Not sure how, but now that I've made it past this morning, I can start planning stuff again. 

Thanks to St. Peregrine for keeping watch this time....

Jumpin' July

I can't believe it's August 1st.  As in one whole month of summer is gone, and there is only one to go.

Where the hell did July go?

This is the first time I've been able to sit and write a bit--I'm sitting at the car place waiting to find out what is wrong with my beloved Pilot.  After 2000 miles cavorting all over New England and Atlantic Canada, it started growling--tired maybe?  And it just got too loud and shaky to ignore.  It's not the muffler since it's coming from the front of the car.  So I sit and wait.

July was a-m-a-z-i-n-g.  There was so much going on!  This could take a while to describe, but I figure I'm stuck here, so....

July 3 and 4
Tall ships!  Boston hosted some tall ships for the celebration of July 4th and the 200th commemoration of the War of 1812, meaning the importance of the role of the USS Constitution...yeah, I need to go back and reread the details about that war.  For me, it meant that I got to spend a day trekking all over Boston with my nieces and sisters-in-law--we walked from North Station to the Seaport via the North End and waterfront, and ended our day at Legal Seafood.  Did you know that they have an amazing gluten free menu, and that it includes fried fish??  They fry in chickpea flour!!  Oh, it was sooooooo good.  I thought I was forever lost to the joys of fried clams.
And then I got to spend July 4th on board the above mentioned USS Constitution with Sis and Mr. Wonderful, watching our friend in his role as commander of the USS Constitution!  Oh, it was awesome.  The USCG Eagle sailed behind us, there were Blue Angels flying over us...just spectacular.

What we looked like from Castle Island 

The Commander 

 

With Mr. Wonderful 

It was pretty hot, but we found a space with a breeze and just stayed there.  It was raining when we got to the ship, but the heavens cleared as we turned towards the harbor.  The harbor was packed with tons and tons of boats of every possible size, and the entire waterfront was packed with people. You couldn't see any green space on Castle Island.  Freaky connection with the people standing next to us--they knew some people Mr. W knew from his days in Maryland, and they lived in the same town as the commander.  Small world.  

NH 

After July 4th I headed north to spend a few days with Sis in NH.  I brought Mookie and O'Malley along for their vet appointment and got yelled at because they are obese--Mookie weighs 19.6 lbs, and O'Malley 17.4!  I knew Mook was large because he's just a big-boned cat, but I had no idea that O'Malley had porked up that much.  I have to change their diets.  Sis and I went walking and hung out for a few days--it was nice.  She's exploring the gluten free world too.  

Road trip to PEI

After leaving NH, I went home and repacked for our trip to PEI with Mr. Wonderful's aunt.  We hit the road on Saturday and stopped the first night in Ellsworth, Maine.  We found a great restaurant called Cleonice where I had the best paella since I was in Spain.  The next couple of days were in St. Stephen and St. Andrews, New Brunswick--loved St. Andrews and had no luck finding more records in St. Stephen.  From there we headed to PEI and Tignish, the hometown of Mr. W's grandmother.  We met up with cousins and spent a couple of days roaming around so Aunt L could see where her mother came from.  She said it was quite emotional.  We had a tour of the cannery in Tignish thanks to Cousin Gerald, and got some incredibly delicious frozen lobster that we ate the next day.  His son gave us a tour of the Tignish Fire Hall much to Mr. W's delight since they got to talk about apparatus and calls.  

We went to Charlottetown for a couple of days and saw the other end of the island.  We also took in an Irish ceili at the PEI Irish Benevolent Society that was fantastic--flute player, fiddler and guitar/vocalist.  They put on a great show.  And then we headed home with  a stop in Saint John and NH to pick up Mookie and O'Malley who were vacationing with Sis at their summer abode.  We put 2000 miles on the car!  

On the red dirt road... 

Posing at Cape Bear

On the gluten front, Canada seems to be much more aware than the US.  There were many more menu options, even in tiny towns, that were delicious.  I only got slightly sick once, and that was after the waitress assured me that my meal would be gluten free. Lots more choices in supermarkets too.  I was very happy.  Pretty impressive to only get sick once when we were eating out every day multiple times a day.  

All in all it was a really good trip, and I think Mr. Wonderful was really happy to show Tignish to Aunt   L and make connections with the cousins.  We were there in 2009.  It really is a beautiful place to see--tons of potato fields in bloom, lots and lots of lobster and mussels.  I still have to read Ann of Green Gables at some point.... 

Women's Weekend 2012 in Breckenridge, Colorado

After our trip to Canada, I came home and in a couple of days turned the laundry right around, repacked and jumped on a plane to Denver for our Women's Weekend.  This is an event that happens every couple of years whenever we can pull it off--a group of friends from high school ditch their husbands and kids, and we all get together for a couple of days to catch up and reconnect.  We're spread all over the country, so the logistics can get pretty interesting.  However, with the help of my brother-in-law and the use of his condo in Breckenridge, we had a great time!!  Five of us made it this time for what someone called a "deliciously luxurious" weekend.  We met up in Denver on Friday and took full advantage of the hotel's happy hour and restaurant near the airport.  On Saturday we headed west to the Rockies and were in Breckenridge by 1pm.  First stop was the resort's spa to book some "treatments".  Bonus was that all 5 of us could use their hot tubs and hot saltwater pool while undergoing treatment--we picked up some wine, cheese and crackers and soaked for hours.  I had a great hot stone massage that lasted an hour---aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.  It really was awesome.  We went back to the spa the next day for more.  We had amazing food at the Motherloaded Tavern, Blue Moose Restaurant and Blue River Bistro, and of course stopped both days at Coldstone Creamery.  I think Coldstone comes the closest to the Steve's Ice Cream of our high school days, and we spent a lot of time at Steve's.... The condo was perfect and the resort had lots to offer.  The mountains were spectacular. All in all, it really was a deliciously luxurious weekend with great friends whom I've known since I was 15.  

The Fab Five outside Coldstone with another ice cream (cinnamon with Heath bar mixed in was my personal fav)

In the saltwater pool with the mountains in the background 

We might not see each other for months or years at a time, and we keep in touch via Facebook.  But, once we get together, it's like I just saw these friends yesterday and we pick up where we left off.  All topics are up for discussion, lots of memories come bubbling to the surface (Remember the time when....) and there's a lot of laughter.  Sometimes there are tears, but that's part of life and someone always has something good to say to help change perspective.  It's very easy.  I'm so lucky to have these wonderful people in my life and always feel renewed after our weekends.  I think this was the 10th time we've managed to get together since 1986 like this, although this was the first time that we didn't stay at someone's house for part of the weekend.  I vote to do it again next year.....

And to end off Jumpin' July, I had my first bone density test done yesterday, followed by a mamogram.  I'm waiting for my bloodwork results from earlier in the month.  I'm still gluten free and still feel pretty damn good.  Bring on August!  Maybe I'll find out what my job for next year is--still no clue whether I'm teaching full time or moving to admin.  Either way, me da igual.  And on a happy note, 74% of my kids passed the AP test with a 3, 4 or 5!  Up slightly from last year.  Whew.  

Car update:  the wheel bearing has to be replaced.  Really?  After only 53,000 miles?  It's under warranty, but it will take another hour or so to finish.  So much for my day.  

Still undetectable!

Woo hoo!

I don't know why that one word, "undetectable", can make me so happy.  But thyca is still undetectable!

I had a great visit with my endo--I love her.  She was thrilled at all sorts of things--my weight is down 15 pounds from this time last year (wowowowowoowowowwow), my blood pressure reading in the office was 115/70 (tends to run high in the office always), and she was happy with my hormone updates.  Overall, I think I got a gold star!

She also thought the gluten free thing was a hoot--she literally started laughing when I told her about my ideas, because the previous patient informed her that she was also going gluten free and feeling much better.  Previous patient also had Hashimoto's.  She said to keep it up if it was making me feel better but to keep an eye on the fat/sugar stuff because of my past issues with insulin resistance.  She told me to tell my sister, also a Hashimoto's victim, to think about going gluten free.

I have to go back in February for a full physical, and I also have to have to do the whole body scan with Thyrogen in October.  She figured that 2 1/2 years was a good point to check it, and then she'll do it again at 5 years.

So I'll have some bloodwork done in the next few days to see how thing are looking, pray that it comes back in the good ranges for stuff, and go have a bone density test done at some point this summer.  And a mamogram.

I'm going to go do my Wii workout and then get on with my day...

Do I dare say this out loud?

A stunning realization came over me a few days ago after I did my Wii workout, and I'm afraid I'll jinx myself if I say it...

I feel really, really good. 

Yup.  There it is. In little letters, but I haven't said those 5 words in at least 5 years.  No, really.  5 years.  

For the first time in ages, everything seems to functioning the way it should.  Brain?  No fog, confusion or processing issues!  Skin?  Not too dry.  Blood pressure?  Registering comfortably under 120/80 when I check it.  Digestive issues?  Nothing like they were when I had gluten in my diet.  Weight?  Under the number I never said I'd go over 5 years ago!  (Ok, still 14 lbs. off my wedding weight, but one can be hopeful that it will come off this summer.) Menopause issues?  Seem to be in check!!  Hormones must be balanced at the moment.  Sleeping?  Like a baby, and all night.  Clumsiness?  Ok,  I don't think that one will ever go away.  That and hair loss, but I can live with those.  Easy solution:  don't wear heels, and put a trap in the shower drain to catch all the hair.  

So there you have it.  I've been off gluten for almost 2 months, and Mr. Wonderful picked me up two cookbooks yesterday!  I guess I need to raid Whole Foods for the wide array of flours that will replace my favorite whole wheat--brown rice, sorghum (what is that?), xanthan gum....that's if I want to bake stuff at home.  I have to admit, the scone pics looked pretty damn good, and I love them.  All of them.  I found a great recipe for nut bars to replace my granola bar addiction.  I'm doing ok except I've gotten glutened at a couple of restaurants--not pleasant.  

School is done for this year, and the end came up really fast.  Really fast.  I even had to go in the day after the last day to clean my office/cave space because I didn't have time to get to it during the year.  I have no idea what next year will look like yet....I have been assigned a classroom and a schedule with 5 classes, but the department chair position hasn't been posted and it's still up in the air.  I want to see the details about the position before I apply....to be honest, there's a great Spanish expression that sums up my attitude towards next year and where I'll be--me da igual.  It's all the same to me.  I know I can teach, so being in the classroom is fine.  I think I can do the other job, so that would be a new challenge.  We'll see.  It just keeps my summer on edge, not knowing for sure.  That, and the dread associated with having to pack up the cave and move it two floors up.  And having a sixie homeroom again.  Wait, they can be cute.  The other thing looming is waiting for the AP scores to come out around July 5.  I'm not sure how this year's crop will do.  

I go back to the endo tomorrow--I wonder if she'll yell at me for the gluten stuff and not telling her?  She'll be happy with the weight shift.  

More later...the summer looks busy, but with a few travel opportunities built in.  

Right now I'm going to take my feeling good little self over to the Wii and get going for today--the boxer is waiting for me.  

Thyca thought for the day....

Thought for the day, stolen from another thyroid cancer blog that's listed on my blogroll....Thyroid Cancer SURVIVOR--The Journey:

“Cancer is not a battle that we win or lose. It is not our fault or a sign of weakness. We are not responsible for our cancer outcomes. The crapshoot of cancer and recurrence can NOT be controlled. Celebrate yourself for each time you, despite all the trauma of cancer, treatment, and the mindfuck of “survivorship”, choose to love, live, lust, laugh… We are not a success story based on our cancer progression or not. We succeed when we are courageous enough to keep walking forward even with missing parts, severe pain, addled brains, and broken hearts.”  ~Dr. Erica D. Bernstein

Happy June!

Happy June!  I can't believe it's June.  I'm not complaining either, it's time for summer. 

On the thyroid front, not much has changed.  Brain fogginess is much better and I think everything else is ok. 
I'm still gluten free, so I've been at this for three weeks now?  Four weeks?  And I really do feel better.  The laundry list of symptoms is gone which is a huge bonus.  I'm doing pretty well I think trying to avoid it and have only had a couple of days where I think I got glutened by mistake.  It's not that hard, keeping track of ingredients when I'm at home.  I've tried some gluten-free cookies that haven't been too bad, and I like Udi's bread and bagels.  I had some pasta that was a combo of brown rice and corn, and it was just ok.  Didn't do so well the next day--much harder.  Luckily I'm not a huge pasta fan, so I won't be upset if I can't have pasta.  June 1st was National Donut Day, and it did make me cry inside a little to turn down a free donut with my coffee yesterday.  The happy byproduct of all of this avoiding wheat is a loss of a few pounds.  I'm conscious of the way the fat content seems to go up in gluten free food, so I'm trying not to eat a lot of it--do I really need it? 
The one thing that does make me freak out a little is eating out....it's a little scary not knowing for sure if you have gluten lurking in something.  And I don't want to call attention to myself, but it's hard.  I just finished up a grad class this week, and for the last class one of my classmates brought in a feast of homemade food--an entire table of food.  And I really didn't want to risk eating any of it since I could see that most of the options would come back to haunt me.  The thing that drove me crazy was all 8 people demanding to know why I wasn't eating....I took some carrots and hummus to shut them up, but then they kept telling me to try this and try that...I finally whipped out my pb&j on Udi's bread and ate that.  I know they meant well, but it was annoying and exactly the opposite of what I wanted.  I said I had a food allergy and left it at that.  I have to go to a retirement dinner at school next week, and it looks like my only option on the menu is prime rib.  I hate prime rib.  I know, weird, but I've never been a fan.  My parents would go out to eat and my mother would almost always get prime rib.  Ugh.  And the end of the year school faculty thing is a pizza party.  Maybe they'll have a giant salad? 
I'm trying to make sure I remember to take a multivitamin every day along with fish oil--I wonder if it's helping? 
So that's where I'm at.  I think I go see Dr. N at the beginning of July.  I'm still using my Wii and actually getting better at the boxing thing--I really have a hard time coordinating the moves!  So clumsy and not athletic. 
Not much else going on--lots of drama at school, especially with parents.  Not getting into any of it here, but if I hear the words "mean", "intimidating", "disrespected (as in kid feels)" one more time about teachers, I'm going to start throwing things.  There's this weird shift happening where kids and parents seem to feel that if the teacher says no, holds a deadline, or shows frustration, then they are those adjectives above.  Really?  Just do the *&^%$ work and we'll be fine.  Oh I could go on and on about this year....but I won't.
These next few weeks are usually insane, so here's hoping everyone gets to June 21st in one piece.  My next few weeks consist of keeping the AP kids working and going back into the department book room.  I spent tons of time in there this week, and I'm still convinced that there is a body buried in there somewhere.  I actually came across a set of French books dated 1925 with a copywright of 1899!!  They were used in the 80s and 90s....
Off to eat some gluten free cereal for breakfast now that my hour of waiting for thyroid meds to kick in is up. 

One week of no gluten down...

I've now gone one week and one day without any known gluten in my diet.  I say "known", because I think I got "glutened" somewhere in the last 48 hours, and I'm not sure what I ate that is causing my distress today.  Unless it's my system reacting to the onslaught of greens and healthier stuff coming through....

But, before I obsess about today, the last week has been pretty interesting for me.  I've lost about 5 pounds and actually feel much much better....less brain fog, no bloating so my pants fit, no other TMI symptoms.  Of course I'm eating like a giant rabbit--lots of veggies and salads.  Managing the diet isn't that bad, at least when I have control over it.  I think my biggest problem will be going out to restaurants.  We went to the Cheesecake Factory on Saturday night, and I worked with the server to order stuff that wasn't questionable, and I think it was ok. Problem was turning down repeated requests to sample things, especially the cheesecake.  I don't want to call attention to it, but I'm sure I came off as a total nutcase.  Who in their right mind turns down a nibble of Reeses Peanut Butter Cheesecake??  I enjoyed my grilled chicken corn tortilla tacos, thank you very much.  I avoided the rice.

I also discovered the ginormous list of options at Trader Joe's--can't wait to sample some new stuff.  But, I've noticed that gluten-free seems to translate to high fat content...but if I'm basically a vegetarian the rest of the time, won't it balance out?  Cool thing was finding gluten-free options at the airport--snacks and veggie side dishes that worked.  I had lots of veggies and fruit during the week, Udi's bread and bagels too.  And my awesome friend Sheila took excellent care of me this weekend making sure I had enough food to eat while I stayed at her house in CA!  Thanks Sheila!  We made a pilgrimage to Trader Joe's and I didn't feel quite so helpless.  I flew out for my goddaughter's confirmation (wasn't I just out there for her baptism?) and had a great weekend.  They are busy raising 5 puppies for a breeder, and they turned 6 weeks old while I was there.  Pics later....

Today however, I think some gluten snuck in there and I feel kind of icky.  I'm not sure exactly what it was, and I'm praying that I'm not that hypersensitive that I'll have to worry about serious cross-contamination issues.  Being on a plane and realizing you've been glutened is not a good feeling.  And I have noticed a huge difference by eliminating it.  I suppose I should go see a nutritionist?

And I'm looking at ordering food for my AP classes for an end of the year luncheon for next week, and it's pretty depressing to come to the realization that I probably won't be able to eat anything on the menu.  Sigh.

So I think I'll stay on this gluten-free road and see what happens.  I have some more researching to do, but I think I have a good idea of how to manage it at home and what questions to ask at a restaurant.  If you notice that I'm growing large furry ears and buck teeth, please let me know....

I really hate my autoimmune system, but I got to meet the President of Ireland!

Here we go again....evidence that yet another part of my body is in revolt against itself.

I'm starting to wonder if I've developed a sensitivity or intolerance to gluten.  

And this coming from the person who never can say no to a good hunk of grainy bread or a sweet baked something.  

Sigh. 

I've been having, um, digestive "issues" that have caught my attention in the last couple of months.  Without TMI, it hasn't exactly been pleasant.  I noticed in all my thyca research over the years that people frequently mentioned going on a gluten-free diet, and that there seemed to be a strong connection between Hashimoto's, hypothryoidism and gluten sensitivity.  

According to the symptoms list, I have quite a few of them. Did I mention that I just hit up the Greenhills bakery this week for my weekly fix of Irish brown bread and scones?  Yeah, definitely not on the gluten-free list.   I really noticed some symptoms after a weekend trip to PA where we had pasta, French bread, waffles--ugh.  

So I guess I could spend some time over the next couple of weeks eliminating gluten from my diet and see how I feel without it.   Kind of funny that I've been focusing on eating more wheat and multigrain stuff over the years to avoid insulin resistance problems, and now I'll have to cut it out completely.  I was at Fenway on Friday and ate my Fenway Frank minus the bun.  Not too exciting.  Didn't help that the Sox lost. Again.  In 13 long cold innings.  

I wonder what role this might play with my elevated inflammation levels?  It has to all be connected and playing off of each other...

Other stuff--I got to hear a speech from the president of Ireland, Michael D. Higgins, about the Famine and its impact in Ireland and Boston.  Boston was chosen as the international commemoration site for this year's Famine commemoration, and since I'm here because my ancestors fled the Famine and came to Boston, I thought it was kind of like my duty to participate.  The speech was at Fanueil Hall, and it was excellent.  It helps to be reminded not to forget every now and then just how horrific the Famine was.  After the speech he went to the Famine Memorial on School Street where he laid a wreath.  He worked the crowd and I got to shake his hand!  Very cool.  One thing that caught my eye was a woman in his entourage was standing next to the sculpture of the starving family, and she gently caressed one of the statues.  It was touching.   

I was further down the line and got a couple of great shots on my cell phone, but I have to figure out how to get them off the phone.... 

Meet my new friend, Wii.

Part of my vacation was to finally play around with the Wii console I bought, oh, almost two years ago....we set it up after Easter dinner, but this is the first time I've made time to do some exploring.
I'm hooked.
Me, anti-exercise girl.  I was actually looking forward to using the damn thing today.
And I clocked in 1 hour and 37 minutes of aerobic activity!!  I have the Wii Fit Plus, Wii Sports and Wii Resort.
So far I've used the Fit Plus and Resort the most.
I went cycling, did a lot of stepping without falling completely off the balance board, did some super hula hooping--don't laugh, it really makes you sweat if you keep going--did some rhythmic boxing, some running in place....and some canoeing.  I can definitely feel it and I certainly worked up a sweat.
I'd love to try to use it during the week, even if it's just a half hour.

So far I can only handle the beginner boxing thing--the advanced got too confusing!  And I couldn't keep up, so I'll just keep repeating the beginner stuff for a while.

And while the canoeing may not seem too exciting, it got my upper body moving in a way that hurt for days...it's getting easier and less painful.
I have consistently failed anything related to balance, so it's pretty funny to watch my little Mii weaving all over the place.  I have gone off a few cliffs....
There's still way more to explore, but it's interesting.
After doing some research about statins, CRP and diet, I guess I just have to suck it up and really police myself.  I don't want to take any more drugs if I really don't have to, and if I can get this stuff under control with consistent exercise and diet, then I'm really going to have to get serious about it.  I know I've probably said something like that repeatedly over the course of this blog, so at what point do I buckle down and stick to it?
Here's to attempt 3,562....

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N

Ahhhh April vacation.

Made it to this one hanging on by my fingernails!

Just got back from a couple of days on the Vineyard, one of my favorite places in the world.  This time we actually stayed at the Kelley House!  And did lots of beach walking--all over South Beach and then by the Gay Head cliffs in Aquinnah.  The weather was absolutely gorgeous--in the 80s on Monday and Tuesday and sunny right up until we boarded the ferry home.  Funny how close the island is, but you can feel like you're miles away from home.  I think Mr. W needed the break more than I did since he's currently napping at 1:30pm.

How can I eliminate the word "busy" from my vocabulary?  I can't tell if I'm using it more because I really am busy, or if I'm using it to cover up for the stuff I haven't gotten done yet....but last week was busy.  Lots of stuff going on at school, lots of stuff needing to be graded.  Mr. W marched in the Patriot's Day Parade this past Monday, and he looked quite handsome in his uniform.  Tall too.  The parade started at 9, so I made it just before 9, not realizing that most of the streets would be blocked off and I wouldn't be able to park at the firehouse.  That caused a lot of speedwalking, but I managed to catch the start of the parade and then the ceremonies at the North Bridge.  We met up with Sis-in-Law afterwards for lunch and then headed for MV.
The day before, Mr. W got tix to the Red Sox game, so we went with Aunt L and Sis-in-Law.  They won and it was a great game. Awesome seats too.  Did dinner afterwards--all in all, a great day.

Been trying to restart my previous commitment to working out more regularly since my most recent bloodwork showed my CRP elevated still at 8.  3 is bad, so 8 must be really bad.  Sigh. Dr. N left a message saying she wants to put me on statins to help lower the CRP, but I found a lot of anti-statin articles that had some pretty scary side effects.  Exercise and diet will help if I can be consistent with them, so I think I'll start there and redouble my efforts.  There are so many things that can increase the CRP, cancer included.  Problem for me is my sweet tooth...I love sweet stuff, and the gooier the better.  Double sigh.  So I finally got my Wii connected and have been playing with it.  I am so uncoordinated though--I've failed all the balance tests!  I like it though, and I did feel like I got a workout when I finished.  Between that, walking and the bike I should be ok.  I think I'm supposed to call Dr. N back, but I'm avoiding it....she didn't mention whether or not I was undetectable, so I guess she's not taking that as seriously?  I'm supposed to have a WBS in either May or June, so I guess I will have to call her back to set that up.  Not looking forward to doing the LID again, but if I can use thyrogen shots instead of the 6 week slow withdrawal from levothyroxine, I can survive.

I think I'll go suck down a salad for lunch.

Where is my mind?

Maybe I left it in Turks and Caicos?

No, it was absent prior to the trip.  How else can I explain the terminal E/B confusion?

I'm on a brain fritz again.  Right now I am unable to find my datebook.  I think I saw it last week, but I can't remember where.  For some reason, I stopped writing my daily to-do lists.  I can survive for a few days without the lists, but if I go too long, I'm overwhelmed.

Right now, I've managed to overwhelm myself.

I thought I had a hair appointment today at 5pm.  I'm pretty sure I wrote it in my large datebook that stays on the kitchen counter so Mr. Wonderful can figure out what is going on.  I went to the salon, and no one was there.  I waited for half an hour and then gave up.  I did use the time to make a grocery list so I wouldn't be lost at the giant Market Basket.  Somehow I still managed to forget the sour cream.

Anyway, that's my tale of woe today.  I wonder when I was supposed to get my hair cut?  Sometimes I wonder if I put so much effort into keeping it all together at school that I'm too worn out to keep it up at home.  Sigh.
What drives me nuts about these memory issues is how they come and go...the inconsistency just messes with my head and complicates things unnecessarily!  Groan....

Update:  Ha!!  I am not losing my mind.  Well, not completely.  I located my datebook under a pile of stuff still not put away from the TCI trip.  Unfortunately I hadn't written anything down in it about my hair appointment.  I called the salon, and it turns out my appointment was moved to tomorrow night at 5:30 because of a conflict the hairdresser had.  Now I can't remember if she ever called to change it...

At least I'll have the gray covered tomorrow and won't look too freaky for Easter.  

Whew! 

TCI 2012

What a great trip!!  I pulled off the "surprise sister for her birthday" trip to Turks and Caicos, or at least she's letting me think I did.

Look at me I'm almost 40! 

I had a blast.
We were on the beach by lunch the day we arrived.  We went Saturday morning and came back Tuesday night.
Ok, things didn't start out that well when Mr. Wonderful dropped us off at Terminal E like I thought--international flights always go out of E, right?   Then, after he was gone, and we were wandering around the terminal, I realized that we should have gone to B.  *&^#@).  Sis wasn't very happy, and I was panicking about what this could mean for the rest of the trip!  We trekked all over the airport but made it to terminal B, had some breakfast and got on a plane loaded with toddlers.  There were sooooo many babies! Who knew that TCI was such a baby haven?
So we were at the beach restaurant for lunch, checked in by 2:30 and headed for the beach.

Grace Bay

We sat there for the next two days.  And it was heaven.  From 10 am until sunset.  Paradise.  Heaven I tell you. 

The water was gorgeous.  There was nothing to do except read, watch people meandering up and down the beach, and occasionally go in the water to cool off.  

The water was such a beautiful shade of blue, and it kept changing with the sun and clouds.  There were tons of things to watch--kayaks, Hobie cats, stand up paddlers, parasailers, snorkelers...it was a never-ending stream of activity, but peaceful at the same time.

The sunsets were breathtaking.  

We strolled the beach and found the supermarket. 

After we paid $5.50 for this bottle below at the resort's "convenience store".  It was $1.79 at the market.  Prices in TCI are pretty high.  

Aside from sitting on the beach, we also had some great food.  First, we had lunch and dinner at Hemmingway's, right on the property.  Fell in love with the Chop Salad and Chicken Curry wrap.  Mmmm.  Sampled tons of seafood.  We also had a fun dinner at Grace's Cottage at the resort next door to ours.  It turned into Sis' birthday dinner once we saw that one option on the menu was a bottle of wine for $2600...no, we didn't order it, but we did turn dinner into a splurge.  And the food was phenomenal.  

This was the appetizer known as Grace's Trio--a scallop, some lobster spring rolls, a little salad and the container of stuff...we weren't sure if the container was actually a dipping sauce for the roles, or if it was a sampler of conch chowder....there were two spoons on the plate, so we figured it was chowder.  But we were never completely sure, so we probably made quite a scene--did we eat the dipping sauce like a chowder?  It was, um, confusing.  :)  

We also sampled the local brew, perfect on a hot day in the sun with conch fritters and fries. 

But not too much because it was over $6 a bottle! 

Our room had a distant view of the ocean, but our room was actually a small apartment complete with a full kitchen, washer dryer, screened in porch, dishwasher, living room, dining room....beautiful!  I'd go back again.  

View of part of The Sands at Grace Bay.  Great thing right now is that there is nothing on either side of this particular resort, so the beach feels roomy and uncrowded.

It was such a great break from life for a couple of days.  Sis said it was exactly what she wanted, and said she felt so relaxed.  We did a pretty good job with the sunblock too.  Well, she did.  Me, not so much.  I totally forgot on the third day to put sunblock on my face.  I don't know why, I just did.  I went out into the sun with my sunglasses on and stayed in the water for a couple of hours.  And then I went under the umbrella for the rest of the day.  Imagine my surprise at the end of the day to see giant (and I mean giant) raccoon eyes, bright white against flaming red.

So not pretty. 

I took a picture  the morning we were leaving--my face was soooo swollen and sore!  The rest of me was ok--no sunburn anywhere else Thank God, just on my face and neck area.  Sis thought this pic was funny.  Ha ha.  Ouch. 

I've burned badly many times over the course of my life, but never like this.  I wonder if it was just a stronger sun, or if my lack of thyroid/meds/screwed up hormones came in to play and made it worse?  Or am I just trying to pass the blame?  

I've had lots of interesting comments over the past few days, but I don't want to remember them.  Let's just say that a group of gasping teens is not a great way to start the day off on your first day back at school.  (lol) And to think they asked me if I'd tan....

It's better today, if you can call peeling an improvement.  

So, overall, without the sunburned face, I'd give the trip a 10.  Add in the sunburn, a 9.  It was great to just hang out for a couple of days with Sis and celebrate with her.  After all we've gone through over the past few years, this was perfect.  Happy Birthday to you!  

National Foreign Language Week 2012

I mentioned this a couple of posts ago, so I figured I'd update.  I survived the week!  And we actually did some stuff that has potential for the future.
I have to give kudos to the teachers in my department who put in the extra time and effort to plan some activities during the week, and all were done after school with no compensation (take that anti-teacher people)--we had three after school foreign film days in German, Chinese and Italian, complete with food.  Funny how Nutella was a key ingredient in all three....We had dance lessons for salsa, tango, flamenco and bachata for Spanish, and French had a food fest that was amazing.  Some kids wore flag colors and stuff related to their heritage--I wore my bright Kelley green Irish rugby shirt.  Any excuse to throw on jeans!
We ended the week with Public Declamation--21 kids declaimed in Spanish, Italian, German, Chinese and French.  We had three students open the declamation with a song in Fillipino to represent just one of the languages spoken by kids at school.  5 posters were submitted to a state-wide contest about language learning.
So, all in all, I was happy with how things went.  It's a start, and hopefully it can continue next year.  I liked the dance lessons--they were fun and the kids were adorable.   I was dead by Friday, but it got the department some attention.