2011 in Review

This "Year in Review" idea is from Boston Globe columnist Beverly Beckham, and she usually publishes it in the paper.  She said she has her family fill in the blanks about the year that just ended.  2010 was Year of the Thyroid Cancer, so 2011 was Year of the Aftermath of the Thyroid Cancer.  My answers are in red....

In 2010, I gained a little bit of inner peace.  Just a little.  It helps trying to figure all this cancer stuff out.  

I lost a little bit of weight!  

I stopped being so resistant to the idea of exercising and found that I actually liked and needed it.  

I started to read again--novels!  

I was hugely satisfied by the word "UNDETECTABLE".  

And frustrated by the fact that the damn thing could become detectable at any time.  Dr. N says I probably shouldn't worry about it, but I do.  I'm a Virgo.  I worry about everything.  

I am so embarrassed that I dropped the ball on keeping up with holidays, people, sending birthday cards, that sort of stuff.  

Once again, I persevered and plowed through. It's a family trait I inherited. Thanks Mom. 

Once again, I did not get pregnant.  Sigh. But menopause is taking care of that, so I guess I can stop thinking about it actually happening.  Kind of hard to happen when your body isn't cooperating at all.  

The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is I can wear size 12 jeans!  Last year I was inching dangerously close to buying size 16.  

I loved spending time with Mr. Wonderful and Sis.  

Why did I spend even two minutes trying to think that I could change other people?

I should have spent more time not thinking about those people. They are disappointing, they suck and they always will suck.  

I regret buying nothing....it was probably on sale anyway.

I will never regret buying stuff to celebrate things, like Sis-in-law's weekend in NYC, or the upcoming 40th birthday trip for Sis--destination is a secret!  

I overanalyze and worry  way too much.

I didn’t socialize enough.  

My inability to remember things drove me crazy. 

Was school crazier than ever last year? Or was it me? Feels crazier this year actually. Hard to believe that is possible. 

The most relaxing place I went was  Great Stirrup Cay.  

I feel so happy  when I write that down. "I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand, not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand, life is good today...." 

Why did I go to Starbucks so much?  They're expensive!  But, it's near school and I guess I can justify it as an end of the day treat to me.  And their hazelnut is pretty good.  I'm more of a Dunkin' Donuts girl.  

The best thing I did for someone else was send stuff that was supposed to help make cancer a little easier to deal with, I hope.  

The best thing I did for myself was give myself permission to say "no".  

The best thing someone did for me was give me hugs when I was upset and tell me I'd be fine.  

The one thing I’d like to do again, but do it better, is remember stuff!   

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Looking back on the goals that I wrote down for last year--How did I do?

Goals for 2011?  

1.  I will make time to exercise.  Even though I hate it and the thoughts of it make me depressed. YES!  I have done this!!  Ok, I've fallen off the wagon a little since I took a grad class this fall, but I'm getting back on the bike.  Today.  I'm still doing the stairs instead of the elevator, and I usually park far away from where I'm going so I have to walk more.  
2.  I will drag Mr. Wonderful to some kind of concert/play/performance/movie once a month. Hmm...I don't think we made the "once a month" goal, but I can't remember (no surprise there).  We did go see "Sister Act" in NYC, the Dublin City Ramblers at the Bull Run....I'll have to go find my date book and see.  More work needed on this area.  
3.  I will take my daily vitamins.  Daily. Still not so consistent on this one.  
4.  I will not, not, not stay at school every night til 6pm. Sigh.  With my new job as lead teacher, I've actually been there some nights til 7 pm.  Still needs work. 
5.  I will clean my house more often. Have to put this for 2012 as well. 
6.  I will travel somewhere relaxing.  Preferably with a beach. Ha--did a cruise to the Bahamas!  And I sat on the dock for long days in NH--does that count? 
7.  I will not freak out about my thyca bloodwork.  It's part of the routine of life, so deal with it. No, still freaking out a bit before and while waiting for the phone call with results.  
8.  I will get a mammogram and get all my other medical stuff back on track. Done!  And no issues!  And Dr. N agreed to be my primary care doc, so I'm mostly back on track.  
9.  I will continue to chat with St. Peregrine. Chatting occasionally, but I really need to get myself back to mass.  
10. I will make time to read, do cross stitch and scrapbook. And maybe sing.   Not enough creative outlets in 2010. Been reading a ton since I can now focus long enough to read a novel.  Not much cross-stitching done at all, and no singing.  I think the time I spend on the computer takes away from this stuff!   


Now I have to think about my goal list for 2012....after I have some coffee.  

Today is brought to you by the number 12!

I AM BACK IN A SIZE 12 BABY!!!!
Ok, so maybe some of you are snickering at the size 12, but I'm not!  I went shopping for jeans today, and it was actually quite a lovely experience!  No angst, no anxiety, no dark thoughts about my thighs, no fear of yet another dressing room mirror. 
I was able to pull my size 14 jeans off without unzipping them or unbuttoning them, so that tells you something about my current size. 
Thank you to the person who figured out how to make the material more stretchy too--that helps someone like me out a ton! 
And they look and feel so nice....
I think it's probably after effects of the stomach flu, but I'm going to run with it (or bike with it on my stationary bike).  I found three different styles that fit--one from the Loft, one from Coldwater Creek and one from DKNY at Marshall's.  I found a pair of Lucky Brand as well, but I think I might take them back--they're on the short side, and the others are longer.  Mr. Wonderful couldn't figure out why I'd buy them to take them back, and he was perplexed when I told him I had to bring them home to look at them again before I made my final decision.  He shook his head and walked away muttering to himself.  I told him it's a female thing that he wouldn't understand. 

I haven't really been a size 12 since I finished the infertility drugs in 2008 or so.  I'm currently 10-15 pounds off my wedding day weight.  I was flirting with a size 16 last year.  I'm still mostly an XL on top, but they fit better, and I can get back into some of my size L sweaters comfortably.  Even my underwear feels too big! 
Now where did I stash the smaller sized stuff for exactly this moment?  I think I gave it away to the Salvation Army out of frustration. 
I know I shouldn't let a number get the best of me, but I'm loving the 12. 
I'll pack up my 14s for now just in case the hormones go all kerfluffy again, and I'll keep wearing most of the 14s for work since I think I can get away with some of them for now. Hopefully I can get thru the rest of winter with what I have and stay in 12land...

On another note, the president of Argentina, Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, has papillary thyroid cancer and will have her thyroid removed after the new year.  Bienvenida al club senora presidenta! News reports say that it hasn't metastisized to her lymph nodes or anywhere else.  I'll have to keep my eye on the news for her progress and to learn more thyroid cancer related vocab in Spanish. 

Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner

How to survive the holidays--why didn't I try this before??

I almost forgot I had this bloggy thingy.
I discovered Twitter and have probably lost a few more hours of my life to that lately.  It's actually a really cool way to get teaching ideas from other teachers!  I'm such a geek, but a "quirky" one according to one of my students.  Using Twitter is like professional development meetings, only way more practical and fun. Now if they would only let us use our two hours of PD once a month to play on Twitter and look for ideas instead of...instead of what?  I'm the one running the meetings this year and I can't even really say what it is we're doing! It's really cool to see what's trending in Madrid....

Can you tell it's time for vacation?

Anyway, this is a thyroid related post, and I have to say it is pretty amazing.  I was sooooo hyper over the last couple of days that I felt like Superwoman on a mission.  Holidays here I come!  Sleep?  Nah, don't need it right now! 
See, I got slammed last weekend with an incredibly nasty stomach bug, and I mean nasty.  I haven't been that sick for ages.  I spent Saturday basically running from my bed to the bathroom, and then couldn't function Sunday, Monday or Tuesday.  I even stayed home from school!  I couldn't keep ginger ale down.  How did I know that this was a legit thing?  Boston EMS tweeted that there was a gastrointestinal thingy making the rounds! (No, I don't follow Boston EMS, it was a RT)  Mr. Wonderful had been hit with this the previous weekend while we were at his work Christmas dinner--his was so bad that he disappeared from the restaurant and took refuge in the car.  He was sick for about three days, and he never ever gets sick.  Since I didn't pick it up right away, I thought I was home-free.  Hahahaha.

Back to the thyroid part.

Because I was knocked out for so long, it put a serious damper on my holiday shopping and preparations.  On Wednesday, I went back to school and tried to have some coffee and frosted pop tarts since I felt ok, but my stomach wasn't buying it.  That was all I ate.  All day.  Prior to that, only saltines, Gatorade and an attempt at chicken soup.  I was determined to run errands Wednesday after school, and around 3pm it was like I was zapped with an amazing burst of energy--I hit 7 different stores and got everything on my list!  I got home around 8pm, and then kept going by writing Christmas cards for school, putting up the tree and organizing the presents.  I also wrote some letters to put in the Christmas cards, and by midnight decided that maybe, just maybe, I should try to go to bed.  Nope.  I plugged into the iPod and tried to fall asleep, but I don't think I dozed off until 2am. Alarm went off Thursday at 5:30 and bing!  I'm awake.  Not even dragging.  I managed to get into school by 7:10, just in time to stuff mailboxes of my department with candy and cards...the rest of the day felt zingy and I managed to stamp, number and organize 120 Chinese textbooks so they'll be ready when we get back. 
I finally crashed last night and was in bed at 8:30, slept straight thru until 7 this morning.  And I woke right up, zing!  No dragging. 

While I'm not happy living in the hyper zone because of the damage it does to other parts of my body, I can definitely live with these energy bursts.  After so many years of living in the hypo zone and being lethargic, this is a welcome change.  Besides, hyper keeps the cancer supressed, and that has to trump everything else. 

I think my lack of eating has sent my hyperness into even more hyperness....what a rush!   I know this isn't a good thing either, to be feeling so hyper, but I'm not about to do anything.  I figure I've lost about 6 pounds from this stomach flu, and it's playing with my med intake.  (Highlight of my day:  fitting into my smaller jeans!!!!!!! I haven't been able to wear these in ages. Does that make me happy?  Hell yes.) 
I'm still not eating much besides toast, rice and saltines.  My stomach protests for a few hours after each meal.  Not enough to get sick, but enough to be uncomfortable. 

So, I'm still feeling hyper today.  I hit the supermarket before 9am, and it was absolutely packed.  Now I'm off to clean, organize the house and decorate the tree.  I'm hoping the stomach thing gets better in time for Christmas dinner so I can eat something more substantial, or at least drink some wine.  One of my stops on Wednesday was to Trader Joe's, and I stocked up on my favorite reds from Toro, Spain....